Selena Gomez on Not Giving Up on Love and How a ‘Super Public’ Breakup Changed Her
Selena Gomez is publicly single, but even going through the “worst heartbreak possible ever” hasn’t shaken her faith in finding love someday. Gomez spoke to Jay Shetty on his podcast about why she remains steadfast in her search for a partner. Giving is just who she is, she said, along with loving fully.
“Being in moments in my life, whether it was my health or personal life, friendships, relationships, I feel like giving myself completely to something is just the best way I can love,” she said. “But I never wanted the pain that I endured to put some sort of guard on myself and armor, if you will. And I never, I never let that happen because I still believe, and I still hope, I hope for love, and I hope for healing, and I hope for change. And I never wanna lose that. Of course, there are days where I feel so far away, but I would rather continue to get my heart broken than to not feel at all.”
Gomez went on to discuss how a “super public” breakup led her to start reclaiming her narrative and implement her philosophy of leading with love.
“I would probably say I started beginning to gain that confidence when I went through a breakup, and that’s something that was super public, but all of those things that I had felt so bad about myself and just so terrible every day, I wanted to debunk those feelings,” she said. “I wanted to take control over that narrative because I did feel that way. But the greatest gift I got from all of that was me actually being honest with people, sharing my story, and gaining the confidence to know I am enough, and I actually work really hard at being a good person, and I know I’m a great person, and when people paint these unnecessary stories, it actually gives me pleasure to just combat it with love like you said, or kindness, you know? I think it’s actually fun for me because it is who I am. I don’t want to waste my time being upset or taking in all of the negative things I hear online. I don’t even hear it. It’s just that when it gets really bad, people tell me, and I see inhumane things happening and people talking negatively about other women, and it just drives me absolutely crazy and I think I’ll just always be that kind of person, and I would say I’m grateful for my past because it has made me a lot stronger.”
Gomez later talked to Shetty about healing from heartache and loss and how she makes an effort to turn the pain into something beautiful and helpful to others. “I always say that there’s, there’s blessing in the breaking and every moment that you encounter in your life, even if it’s just road rage as simple as that to maybe losing someone that you love,” she said. “There, there is no perfect way to heal. There is no perfect way of dealing with something. It’s more just, how am I going to be a better person? How am I going to make the best choice for myself so that I don’t end up angry at that person on the highway so that I don’t end up ruining my day because of what someone did to me on the 405?”
“I wanna also say that how can I turn something like losing someone I so dearly love into, well, how can I celebrate that person and the great things that they’re, that they provided me or that they gave me?” she continued. “That takes a lot of work. So I don’t say that lightly, but I try my hardest to do that. And I try to have my friends hold me accountable to reminding me, ‘Hey, let’s try to flip this and try to turn it into something else.’”
You can listen to the full podcast below:
This content is imported from youTube. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
Alyssa Bailey is the senior news and strategy editor at ELLE.com, where she oversees coverage of celebrities and royals (particularly Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton). She previously held positions at InStyle and Cosmopolitan. When she’s not working, she loves running around Central Park, making people take #ootd pics of her, and exploring New York City.